Kina, Families & Addiction Trust

Chris' Story

Posted on 30 March 2015 | 2 Comments

I believe my daughter is very deep into drugs, not sure if she is taking meth but l do know she has marijuana. I have seen a pipe looking thing with a bottle type thing attached. I don't know what this is. She lies all the time to me. She lives in her own house and has 3 girls. One has a terminal disease and the baby is almost 5, eldest being 18 and moved out of home. She goes out for hours leaving the middle one to look after the baby. I ask them are they OK and they say yes but l don't think they are. I absolutely don't know what to do. my daughters friends all take drugs and l hear some take meth. My baby grand-daughter asked me why have l got heaps of food in my cupboard, that was terrible to hear. If l plan a trip to her town, she always has something she has to do. I don't believe the meds the middle child needs are up to date. I have thought of getting a lawyer and trying to take the kids of her, but l don't know whats stopping me. I know that she was once a beautiful mother and a loving daughter but lately is a crap mother, sister daughter. I think l hope that one day she will miraculously turn back into the daughter l had, am l wishful thinking. If l take the girls from her, will she go worse. She has had a lot of money over the past 12 months to get her car on the road legally but its about to be taken off the road, she has done nothing to it, doesn't seem to worry her, what the heck, its desperately needed to get the kids to school and groceries etc etc. Shes very good at getting me to feel sorry for her. She has had a couple of tough relationships and uses that to get me on her side. At the moment she says she is leaving her current relationship, which is a violent one with him beating her but her eldest daughter just visited her and tells me that her mum is just talking him up, she so lies to me. What does a mother do. I just cant make a decision and stick to it. I am beginning not to care for my daughter anymore, she just sucks the life out of me, l am so tired of worrying about her and the kids but my grandchildren need better care than shes giving them. Some of her brothers and sisters cant be bothered with her because of choices she has made in the past and just want nothing to do with her, everything she has annoyed family with has had something to do with drugs.


  • I am in the same situation-the breaking point came when my son-in-law snapped and got a lawyer and had the kids taken off her....naturally she crumbled...she's in rehab got another 3 weeks to go, had a phone call from her tonight after spending 1 week in crying inside...but she could not stop apologising for letting me down...its been a hard lesson to try and focus on the next day sort of thing...but life goes on and we have to be there to support them....I have no idea how this is all going to pan out..all I know is she is at long last getting help and I only hope she has learnt her strong, in the end, she has to be the one who wants to quit...she really has to hit rock bottom before she starts to wake up...I am crossing my fingers, I pray every night and during the day for my daughter...its all in the hands of the Almighty"

    Posted by Kathleen Puahuire Sauer, 08/03/2016 7:45pm (6 years ago)

  • Massive hugs to you..

    Sounds like what is stopping you - is the fear that if you took your grandbabies off your daughter - she will turn down a far worse road of dependence on whatever drugs she's taking.. A normal fear! But YOU can not control how she reacts.. I think you're very strong for even considering acting.. don't doubt YOUR strength..

    I can't talk from any experience of having a child using substance's - my experience is from parental abuse.. but I know one thing remains the same - it's OK to want to put distance between you and her... it's ok to not "care" for her.. because you know what... it's not just about her... it's about you and how u deal with YOUR emotions... and what ever they are.... it is OK. xo

    Posted by Rena, 03/04/2015 7:57pm (6 years ago)

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