Kina, Families & Addiction Trust

Donna's Story

Posted on 28 October 2016 | 2 Comments

My 19-year-old son is addicted to synthetics. Has been for last few years. Finally cleaned up his act and moved away for a few months and is now back and up to old habits. Today I rang the psychiatric crisis number as he was threatening to take his own life and was told they could do nothing and to call the police. I rang his doctor and was told there was nothing they could do unless he came and saw them which he refused to do. He left home in a state so I went to the police and asked if they could pick him up and take him to hospital for an assessment. They went and spoke to him and said he seems fine so nothing they can do. Over the last few years he has stolen from me and families members, abused us, smashed up my home, I have had him arrested a few times but nothing happens. I have put up with his manipulative ways and given in him to him many times, knowing that I enabling him but trying to protect him as mothers do. I have given him money, paid his bills, and picked up the pieces many times. Today in one of his moods he totally destroyed my soul by blaming me for not being there for him and favouring his siblings over him. He is the youngest of 5 children and has been treated the same as all the rest. I know he is playing with my emotions but the things he screamed at me today were vicious and cruel. I have told him he is no longer welcome in my home, that I will always love him but until he seeks professional help I want nothing to do with him. When he gets help we will all be there to help him. I don't know if as a parent I can sit back and watch him hit rock bottom but I know it is the only way forward. I feel so frustrated that the police can not help to get him assessed and also that they knowingly leave a drug dealer in our community selling synthetics. I asked why they allow this to happen when they know who is supplying our children and all they can say is the person is known to them and they have been looking into it but can’t do anything.


I pray my son will be safe and one day wake up and realise what he is doing

Comments

  • Watching them hit rock bottom is the hardest thing but when you have to choose between your life and theirs, you have to look after yourself first.

    You have to recover from what you have been through and this is what I am doing while I'm waiting for my step-son to hit rock bottom. I know I need to regather my strength to deal with whatever lies ahead.

    Do whatever gives you strength whether it is yoga, going to Church, taking long walks in the park, sleeping in, going out with friends, writing poetry, painting.

    Don't forget your GP is a good ear too and if you are feeling wrung out and depressed, there is no shame in asking your GP for help with antidepressants, sleeping pills or locating a counsellor (all three have been very helpful in supporting me to get 'myself' back).

    Look after yourself. You are the only person you can really look after and get results. Your son has been forcing you to live his life for him. It's time to live your own.

    Posted by Tracy, 08/03/2017 6:11am (3 years ago)

  • Hi Donna

    The alcohol and drug helpline are really helpful to get perspective when you feel like you are losing the plot, and I have found the book, Beyond Addiction, Helping with love and kindness, really helpful with ways to be caring and have firm and fair (to you and all the others in your family) boundaries.

    Posted by Michelle, 07/11/2016 3:56pm (3 years ago)

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