Kina, Families & Addiction Trust

Fay's Story

Posted on 19 January 2016 | 1 Comments

My 40 year old son is an alcoholic. He has left his partner of 20 years and 2 kids to sort himself out. He has said if he stayed there he would end up dying. She is also an alcoholic drinking every day. My son is depressed because he left but won't get help as he says "I can help myself." I don't want to undermine the progress he has made but it seems to me he can't make the break from her and uses the kids as an excuse.They are 19 and 21 so young adults. He doesn't ask for money but I can't stand to see him stressed so give him money to help him out. I don't tell him what to spend it on but feel like it goes on booze. He keeps telling me he can go all week without drinking but on the weekend when he starts drinking he won't stop so he makes up for the week of no drinking. If I visit tea is not for hours and I always tell myself I am not going to visit again but then history repeats itself. I spend a lot of time crying over the waste of a kind loving person that I feel knows his family will always be there for him no matter what so he can let his addiction be more important than a family's love. I want to shake him but know that the addiction is bigger than our love for him. I'm so angry with him sad, and depressed. I don't think he actually cares.

Comments

  • Fay,
    I once attended an open AA meeting(that is an AA meeting where people other than alcoholics can attend, I went to support an alcoholic for his first meeting).

    I remembered a member saying " it's not that I don't care, it's that I don't know how to show I care".It only takes one family member to make a change and it is remarkable how often other family members find a way to make changes.

    I urge you to consider Al Anon, if you are not already a member.
    Or seek help from a counsellor who understands addiction and it's effect on the family, this is a family disease, effecting every family member.
    Talk to your doctor if you feel he/she understands the ramifications of living with alcoholism.

    Fay just don't be alone in this-there is help. Linda

    Posted by Linda Hay, 20/01/2016 1:26pm (4 years ago)

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