Kina, Families & Addiction Trust

Tired Daughter's Story

Posted on 14 February 2017 | 2 Comments

My dad is a recovering alcoholic of about 5 or 6 years and has relapsed. He has been drinking again for about 7 months and doesn't seem to want to stop. It started with him just drinking in the weekends a couple times and missing work on Monday as he’s been so hung-over or still drunk from the day before. I asked him why he hasn't been to work this week and he said he quit- but I think he was fired. Today he was drunk and tried going for a drive probably to get more booze. I ran outside when I heard the car and took the keys off him which caused him to get angry and we had a big fight. I ended up giving in and giving the keys back because I just wanted him to leave me alone but I warned him if he drove off, I was calling the cops. I'm sick of living like this! Even when he’s sober he's not the dad I know anymore. His eyes have changed- its like the light in them have gone out and I Just don't want him around anymore. He's making life miserable and he already ruined mum’s birthday, Christmas, and my cousins engagement party. We can't enjoy anything anymore without worrying if he'll be drunk and if so, in what mood? A family wedding is coming up in a couple weeks and I don't want him to go. I don't want to deal with the embarrassment of his actions but I don't want him home alone either because I'm scared of the trouble he'll get into here. He's already gone out and had fights with the neighbours a couple times. When he’s drunk I pick fights with him just so he'll take his anger out on me and not someone else. My little sister isn't use to seeing him like this as we would shield her from him when we were little. My brother isn't in the right head space to deal with him and I just hate the way he speaks to my mum sometimes. So its just easier if he’s mad at me because I'm used to it. I got the brunt of his anger when we were little anyway but I can see dad and my constant arguing is causing mum extra stress so I've been trying to hold my tongue when she’s around.

His drinking has scared me and I don't know what a safe amount is so I don't go out with my friends because they want to drink and I’m scared. I don't want to turn out like him! 
Its so hard. I liked to having a dad for the first time and being a proper family. We let him back into our lives and nothing was said about the past we wanted a fresh start. I was so proud of what he was doing and how far he had come- now were right back at the start and I'm tired of feeling like I'm stuck in a dark hole with no way out. Our relationship has been affected and I don't think I want to have one with him anymore. He’s cause to much pain and all I care about now is making sure my sibling and mum are ok. I’m old enough this time to do something to help but I don't know what to do?

 

 

Comments

  • Thank you for sharing your story. Although it's not my parent with the drinking problem I can relate to that rollercoaster ride you describe and the painful heartbreak when the good periods come to an end. It sounds like you are so disappointed and I fully understand that profound disappointment. I hope your father can get back into recovery but more importantly I hope you can look after u

    Posted by Jen, 19/03/2017 2:03am (2 years ago)

  • I hear you. It hurts more than you can describe in words. Opening your life and trusting him and then being betrayed AGAIN sucks the big kumara. It's okay to take time out - alcoholics (like my dad) are masters at mental manipulation and they don't even realise what they are doing to themselves let alone a loved one. Check out Al ATeen? I think that's the name - it will teach you how to cope with a loved ones alcoholism. You are amazingly caring and I am sorry you are going through this - the fairy tale ending for your dad may never come but all you can control is your own choices and be at peace with that. Take care of you

    Posted by Shelley , 15/02/2017 9:51pm (2 years ago)

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