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My Story

I am the wife of a diagnosed alcoholic that has been sober for 44 days. To get to this point I had to pack up and leave him to make him realise that my son and I could not put up with his behavior any longer. He was abusive, moody, and controlled my life. These are all things that he has also identified through his treatment. My partner is in recovery and doing very well and has come a long way, however where is my support. I have chosen to support my husband as he is a good father and good person when he is sober- however, there are underlying behaviour issues that may or may not be related to his addiction. How do you get rid of the feeling of "walking on glass".

I am also thinking of my son’s words- "its easy to forgive mum but you cant forget." I have been through mental abuse, controlling behavior and rape.

When my husband started his journey it was all about him, now he has become self righteous and is turning things around. I will admit that I like to drink but I am now being told that I cannot have a drink at all around him as he cannot cope. This is building up resentment in me as I am not the one that has a problem with alcohol. He accepts that he can’t take anything back that he has done but he is getting all the support and I am wondering where is mine as the victim.

1 comment

1 Comment

Oct 04, 2021

I am so sorry that you have been through all of this trauma. There is help out there. You could go to your GP and ask for a referral for counselling. Your GP could help you will making a sexual abuse claim so that you could get ACC funded counselling. Joining Alanon would help you connect with people who understand. I wish you well in your journey towards regaining your own sense of wellbeing and happiness.

Posted by Angela, 11/06/2016 11:18am (5 years ago)

You have been through a lot and are so strong to have made the decision to move out. I wish you well... There is a lot of help around - Kina, Lifeline, Salvation Army. Kia kaha.

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