I married a lovely guy we had children who were in their teenage years before he started the downward slide into drug addiction. At first it was a slow process, he started to get grumpy within our relationship. Then he started to make some very belittling remarks, not like him at all, his personality started to change.
I knew something wasn't right but I did not know the full extent of his addiction until we travelled overseas, someone mentioned to our son that if not for the trip he would be dead by now.
Through this time he started having affairs, usually with other drug users, where he felt comfortable.
We separated and got back together several times, I was hoping for the lovely guy I married to come back. He tried a few times but he still associated with the same people, some people he would not have given the time of day to before.
We have been separated for a year now, it was finally, after 12 or so years, too hard to live with. Trust was gone, he thought nothing of having affairs, I think he got off on the fact that he had a home life and he had his bits on the side. He is living with the last one, happy, don't think so, but his choice. I have had many people coming up to me and saying he's not the same.
From a guy that was a hard worker, with a very involved job, great father to a crack addict. I feel so sad but until he, or if he, decides to wake up there is nothing we can do. The drug dealers don't care that families are destroyed, people are destroyed they only care about the money. The sad thing is that drug addicts become drug dealers to pay for their habit.
Living with an addict is something I never thought I would do, you make excuses for them, you cover for them. You are alone because it is not something you can talk about it with others, you feel ashamed.